Our Crazy Legislature, Week 6

Progressive Pensacola is proud (or ashamed?) to present the latest installment of our weekly feature, Our Crazy Legislature. Each week, we try to round up some of the many, many bad decisions made by the Florida Legislature, and some of the many, many bad ideas proposed by the legislators therein. There are so many that it’s literally hard to keep track.

South Florida Sun-Sentinel:
“Raise sales tax, cut exemptions, forget ‘user fees’”

The Sun-Sentinel‘s Stephen L. Goldstein highlights the Republican tactic of calling tax increases “user fees” so that they can say they didn’t raise taxes:

When the economy was booming and the state was flush, they promised never to raise taxes; some even put their promise in writing. Now that the economy has gone bust, Republicans have no other choice but to raise taxes. But laughably, they are calling them “user fees.”

This phenomenon was entertainingly illustrated by Governor Charlie Crist in a recent interview. When asked if he would support an increase in the state cigarette tax, Governor Crist replied, “I’m not particularly fond of any taxes, user fees may be a different item, so we’ll see how it progresses…”

St. Petersburg Times:
“Hang up on this bill”

The St. Petersburg Times editorial board takes aim at perhaps-named-on-Opposite-Day “Consumer Choice and Protection Act” which is making its way through the Legislature:

When state lawmakers want to put makeup on ugly legislation, they phony up the name. But calling a bad telephone deregulation bill the “Consumer Choice and Protection Act” cannot cover up its flaws. It is designed to boost the telephone companies’ bottom lines, not protect consumers who are looking to expand their choices. A key Senate committee, which killed and then resurrected the bill this week, should kill it for good.

The Times states the issue bluntly and concisely: This bill is designed to increase revenue to phone companies, at the expense of low-income families. The bill, if passed, would expand the definition of “non-basic” service, making it easier for phone companies to raise rates with minimal notice:

The bill could force millions of Floridians — especially the elderly and those on moderate incomes — to face the threat of double-digit price increases with little notice. And even as the bill seeks to move more customers into the higher tier, it would remove the state’s ability to enforce service standards on these customers’ behalf. The bill would remove the Public Service Commission’s authority to settle service complaints or to compel repairs for nonbasic services. It would make it easier for phone companies to increase rates and service fees and hide them from the public.

For those who may be interested, this legislation is S 2626 in the Florida Senate and HB 1465 in the Florida House.

Flablog: “Unemployment”

My favourite bill in the Legislature this session (and oh, there are so many to choose from):

Some Republicans in the Legislature still believe the jobless have it way-y-y too easy and are being insufficiently humiliated. Like Sen. Mike Bennett who wants to require random drug testing for anybody receiving jobless benefits.

This bill, the brainchild of State Senator Mike Bennett (R-Bradenton), is a giant laughfest until you realise he’s serious and actually gaining traction with this looptyloo idea.

Naturally, his bill, SB 2062, has no provision for paying for these tests — the unemployed would have to pay for them. Naturally, he’s not proposing hiring people to process these test results to avoid slowing down payments further — no-o-o-o that would cost money. And certainly he’s not proposing expanded drug treatment for cases where tests come back positive. What are you a socialist or sumptin’?

Also check out the excellent Will Report for Food coverage of this goofball legislation. If anyone wants to read the bill, it’s S 2062 in the Senate and HB 969 in the House.

Will Report For Food:
“Florida lawmakers want to ban novelty lighters”

The aforementioned Will Work for Food continues its excellent “Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation” series with S 806/HB 417, which would ban “novelty lighters”:

There are few bills that reach the absolute absurdity of SB 806, a proposed law banning lighters that resemble “a cartoon character, animal, toy, gun, watch, musical instrument, vehicle, food or beverage, that plays sound or musical notes, or that displays flashing lights or other visual effects.”

No, really — that’s a quote from the bill, which is sponsored by Republicans Senator Lee Constantine and House Rep. Scott Plakon.

The concern, of course, is that children may think novelty lighters are toys and then accidentally hurt themselves or cause fires. Is this really necessary, though? As Will Work for Food explains:

Alternatives to this bill could be banning kids under 18 from buying any lighter, or — and I admit this one is a little crazy — calling on parents to take responsibility for their kids.

Be sure to check out the rest of the “Bipartisan Guide to Ridiculous Legislation” series at Will Work for Food.

A serious comment

As much as I love to joke about about the incompetency of the Florida Legislature, and as much as there is to laugh at, it’s a dark, wretched kind of humour, and I’d be glad to be rid of it. We have serious issues that are being mishandled and and/or ignored. Kenneth Quinnell of the Florida Progressive Coalition said it well:

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a legislative session where we measure success not by stopping crazy bills, but by passing bills that actually help people?

Sure would.